Thoughtful Song

I love the Song “I Got Nothin'” by Darius Rucker. I mean, it’s actually kind of sweet in a we-are-breaking-up sort of way.

Probably, I just like it for his voice.

Regardless of why I like the song, it got me to thinkin’. I doubt I would have thought quite so deeply about it all if I didn’t have any homework to get done…But, I do. And I really don’t want to read another page of any book. At all.

Anyhow, does anyone ever really have “nothing’? I mean, even if you have some weird head injury that causes you to lose your memory (or if people mess with your brain like in The Maze Runner by James Dashner) you still have a brain and a body. The same is true if you lose all of your money.

So does that mean it’s all about perspective? As in, someone may think they have nothing when they really do have something? Or maybe one thing a person has outshines all others, yet makes everything else worth it at the same time so that if you took that first thing away, everything else would add to nothing?

I seriously don’t know.

Back to reading.


Numbers, Names, and Mistakes

Asking for the cell phone number-

Remembering a name-

Admitting a mistake-

Where is the correlation? What makes the three things listed above similar? Figured it out yet?

They are all hard to do. They all take courage. Sometimes they can be so much easier than anticipated, but who ever anticipates that? I know I don’t. All the worrying and heart racing beforehand? Often, just for nothing.

Sometimes I don’t want to think about doing those things. Unfortunately, they still come to mind and by the time I’ve forgotten them? Bing, they are back.

Sometimes it can be really easy to make one of them into a joke to calm the mood. But in the end, that just makes it harder. It makes it worse.

I may be the only person who thinks those things are often hard, but I seriously doubt it. Whenever I think I am the only person who does something, I usually end up wrong (And who wants to be wrong?).

So, my new plan? Admit more mistakes to make it easier on others. Never assume that someone is kidding when they say they can’t remember your name or if they ask for your number.

Maybe this won’t make a difference. Maybe I’ll be the only one who ever uses my plan.

Then again, maybe I won’t.

Write Just as an Apple

Whenever I get a headache, I eat an apple. The apple usually cures my headache, at least for a while.

Sometimes when I feel confused, I write. Writing usually takes care of my confusion. Or, if it doesn’t, it relaxes me and saves someone from having to listen to my complaints.

That is why I will always write. I may get sick of it sometimes. I may fall behind and not stick to my original plan. I may think I am past writing, that I won’t ever go back.

But I eventually keep coming back. Writing isn’t just a hobby for me, it is a lifeline. I don’t just write poems or stories or blogs, I write my thoughts. I write to communicate. My blog just might tell someone more about me than they could know from just talking to me.

Because, you see, I write to say what I can’t speak.


Time, Balance, and Life

Time is both limited and infinite in college. Limited when it is the night before a big test and decisions must be made on whether to study or socialize, to sleep or pick out the best outfit. Limited is time when one has to choose between watching a movie and working out. Infinite is time when the calendar pages will not flip the weeks before a visit home. Infinite when the test is over and the homework finished and the laundry done. Is time really the same length every day and every moment? It seems not even if the clock belies the feeling.

Finding the balance during that time between work and fun is key. Finding balance between boring textbooks and exciting events. Balance is something not struck as quickly as seconds on a clock and is certainly not as continuous. The search for balance is infinite. Balance is only found for a while before it slips away like the limited hours on the clock.

Time is a big part of life. Life is both time and balance. Life is how one balances time.

James Bond

Someday I want to be just like James Bond.

You know, “Carlier. Oksana Carlier.”

Okay, so it doesn’t sound quite as good with my name. But that can be easily conquered, all I need to do is change my name to something with the initials J.B. Then I could certainly join the ranks of James Bond and Jason Bourne.

I mean, really. Who hasn’t wanted to …

Jump rooftop to rooftop, over a million foot chasm?

Play poker like a boss?

Drive in a classic car chase?

Have a tricked out car?

Get the bad guy?

Run faster than your average vehicle?

I know I have. So since I don’t think I am going to end up quite like James Bond, I’ll just stick with being myself AND…