Sometimes…

Sometimes I get frustrated with our imperfect world.

People and how they make all these mistakes.

Myself and how I can’t always get everything done on my to do list.

The construction and how it ruins my pictures of the pretty field that used to be in my backyard.

The temporary nature of the world.

 

But when I think about these things, I remember something. In order to truly love something, we have to embrace it’s imperfect nature. I have to remember that people do not always make the right choices, that sometimes I overload myself and sometimes construction happens.

I want to love our imperfect world because it is where God placed me.

Even if I am truly sick of the construction. 

Advertisements

On Writing: Why I like it

I love writing.

Why? 

A. It’s an escape from my life into someone else’s life.

B. I control the situations in my character’s lives and if I make them miserable and no longer want to be a part of their lives, I can just stop writing that story.

C. It helps me get emotions out while pretending they are my characters emotions and have absolutely nothing to do with me or my experiences. It’s very convenient. Don’t tell anyone.

D. Sometimes, my writing makes other people think about something in a new way or allows them to escape into a different world. And what could be better than that?

I also hate writing.

Why?

A. Not everything I write is perfect (appalling, right?).

B. Sometimes my stories won’t leave my head. ANNOYING.

C. It’s hard.

 

 

Reading a Poem and Living a Life

Reading a Poem and Living a Life

When I first read the poem from the above blog post, I thought it was stupid. The poem discusses how mistakes will happen and that you should learn from them and some other life advice crap.

I was rather disappointed. I mean, shouldn’t it be telling me about how I would succeed and do great things and “be the change” in the world? Shouldn’t it be saying how every problem is an opportunity? Who was this person to say that I should go and make mistakes?

So, I mentally ripped apart the poem before discarding it in my mental advice-went-wrong trash bin.

Then, college happened. I went and what did I do at college? I made MISTAKES. Just like the poem told me to do. I never made them on purpose, but they were there regardless. They hurt and they stung.

Guess what came to mind when I made mistakes?

That poem.

“Make new mistakes.  Make glorious mistakes.  Make mistakes nobody’s ever made before.”

Apparently mental trash bins don’t work so well.

But you know what? That poem made me feel better when I’d made a mistake. It reminded me that (contrary to my happy belief) I would not always be perfect or successful.

That poem reminded me that making mistakes is okay.

So I thought I’d share it with you all. You know, so you can try out that mental trash bin and see if yours works better than mine.

Situations and Conversations…In Your Head?

Image

I have finally found my place.

College.

But really, it isn’t college. My place is with the people here that I am honored to call my friends.

I’ve made a ton of weird friends who have odd characteristics and are just cool with showing them. There are all kinds of people who have all kinds of different personalities interests in college and it is so nice to meet people who like similar things as me!

People with the odd quirks. People you start to love even if you kind of hate them sometimes (only sometimes).

For example:

Today, I was sitting around with some of my friends and we had a long discussion about imaginary situations and conversations that we play out in our head.

Yeah, you read that right.

Imaginary conversations. In our heads.

We discussed how we get bored and just start thinking about conversations we need to have or possible situations. Even to the point that we will get all worked up about something that someone did…in our head. Or when we get mad over something that someone never said.

Crazy, right? I always thought I was the only one who used my imagination to that effect.

Apparently not.

Now that we found our mutual bond (crazy imagination skills) we have something else to talk to. Another similar interest.

What have I learned from this?

I have found my people 🙂

Back from Break: A Difficult Week

It’s a Monday and the first day back from spring break. Bad combination. Oh, and as one of my friends so kindly reminded me, we are back to cafeteria food (which isn’t necessarily bad, just not the same as home).

I have been told that I should try and look at things in a positive light. You know, glass-half-full type of stuff.

I plan to try that. You know, just as soon as my allergy medicine kicks in (that I took 5 hours ago) and stops this pounding in my head….

On a different tangent, there are only five weeks left of school! Then I can go home and have a chill summer. I can hang out with friends and read. I will also be selling lottery tickets and car washes at my gas station. Fun stuff.

I’ll just imagine my summer instead of my classes and homework. Or I could just accept that I have a glass and I don’t feel like promoting the fact that it is half full or half empty….

A Few Thoughts on Names: Just a Name is Enough

During my years here on earth, I have been involved in a lot of clubs and organizations. Enough that I probably won’t remember them all in a few years.

Currently, I am in two organizations, and I am a double major with a minor.

Whenever I send an email, I always sign my name with my credentials (clubs) underneath. I just think it seems so cool that it’s not just my name, it is a little part of me. It also looks super interesting and professional. It makes me feel like an adult, like I have experience.

I’ve even been looking to the next few years of college, trying to figure out what clubs and organizations that I can put under my name. I mean, I’d surely die if I just signed with my name.

Or would I?

Lately, I’ve been thinking…

Maybe signing your name is enough.

I mean, my name should mean something. Maybe not to everyone. Plus, there are times when I will want to sign with all the credentials, my mini-resume, especially when looking for a job or sending an important email. The organizations do tell a little bit about me and my life.

But really, I strive to be the best person I can be, not just in one or two organizations, but in life.

Do I fail? Yes. Do I fail often? Of course.

But I want to remember that I am enough. My name means something without the extras when I am working hard to become excellent.

My name is enough.

-Oksana